Letter to the Average Young Girl
I was just like you. I didn’t think so at the time, but I was just as normal as the rest of us. This is for you. Some of my experiences don’t apply to you, but what I learned from them is universal. We all eventually learn the same things, but we have different teachers. Try to listen to my voice as the fruit of experience. I’m not going to tell you anything I haven’t found out myself.
There are things you can’t be told; some things only experience can teach you. But don’t ever let that hold you back from learning as much as you can before you have to experience it. Even the most wildly pleasurable rebellion ends in a brokenhearted bitterness. And none of us are above making drastic mistakes. The strongest of us will stand up, accept responsibility and the consequences, and learn from that mistake. Let it be every girl’s goal to be one of those strongest. The “if at first you don’t succeed” proverb is not overrated. Apply it.
We are never as “safe” as we think and we are always wrong about something. Not everything, but some things. (By the way, that doesn’t just apply to us; it applies to all human beings, so don’t feel like I’m labeling you as ignorant.) This is what the true meaning of “open-mindedness” is. Open-mindedness doesn’t mean accepting everything; it means giving thought to new ideas. Some new ideas are wrong and should be rejected, but you had better make sure you’re right if you’re going to own an opinion.
Honey, don’t worry about boys. Don’t go through the rigmaroles of conjuring up wishful thinking. We’re romantics; you’re not in love with him. You’re in love with love. Be careful about giving away your heart. It only takes once to show us how badly heartbreak really hurts. Be the picky one; the one who’s hard to get. It’s not a cheap trick; it’s a wise move. Face it. Most of the guys you know don’t fit. (These guys make fabulous friends, though.) It’s not about how hot or how sweet or how athletic or talented they are or even how smart they are or the fact that they like Skittles just as much as you do. If you act like you and sound like you and are like you, compatibility will show itself in plain sight when it comes around. And rule number one: don’t worry about it. You’re too smart and too valuable and too special to be desperate. We all absolutely love being loved by somebody, but it is so much more worth it to wait for a reliable, constant devotion than to squander so much sentiment on hormones.